Magnificently Insignificant Waves

I find myself, lately, lingering a little longer than I had inteded on my sofa while I listen to my daily inspirational or educational podcast or audiobook, staring at the screensaver on the TV (a nifty Amazon Firestick feature). It's just a loop of photographs of some of the most breathtaking places around the world. Captions pop up in the bottom left corner of the screen to put a name and location to the image. I think there are a few different montages, but they all eventually repeat like a music playlist. It comes on after some toddler cartoon sits long enough on pause because my son's interest has inevitably moved on to other things. But my eyes linger on these pictures and my mind wanders. It may sound like a frivolous activity, but it has been a sort of outlet for taking in the world without being able to actually go out and experience it first hand. But, more than that, it has been almost a sort of meditation for me these days. I occasionally seek out more o...

"It's the best thing that will ever happen to you!" "It's different when it's your own child." "You'll never love anyone as much as you will love your children." "It's hard, but it is so worth it." Motherhood changes you. Of course it does. It changed my whole world. But I was always skeptical that these things people always say were really going to be true for me.   People sometimes make it sound like you will grow a pair of giant, glowing-white angel wings and weild a sword of justic, commanding all things around you to your will. Like you will be able to flawlessly love your own child so perfectly that you wouldn't possibly allow your selfish humanity ever get the better of you. Like you won't notice how constantly exhausted, achy, frustrated, hungry you are. But I still think I never quite believed all that was going to happen for me. That's why I was always on the fence about having kids in the first...