One of the most surprising responses I have gotten so far from more than one person since announcing my pregnancy has been something along the lines of "is it difficult being pregnant here/there (meaning in Rwanda)"?
My automatic thought is..."uhhh I don't think it's any different than being pregnant anywhere else." Although I have no other frame of reference.
So this blog post might be a lot less exciting than you were expecting. BUT I have been watching so many video blogs and reading so many forums that, now, I feel like I want to write about what it has been like for me so far. Just to warn you...it's probably pretty boring stuff.
Numbered lists always make things more fun to read so I'll do it this way: My top 10 things funny things about being pregnant [in Rwanda] so far. And how about this? For each point I will give you a takeaway (which may be useful or may not be relevant to you at all).
1. Morning sickness was not what I expected...
I think that any woman who's ever wondered about pregnancy has figured out that no two women are the same in how they experience pregnancy and morning sickness is no exception. For me, it was not that intense at all, and I never vomited. And the weirdest thing was it only came on when I was hungry and occasionally when I ate too much. It was just essentially really intense, uncomfortable hunger pangs which, unfortunately, made me not want to eat ANYTHING. But I could only make it go away by eating. And this pretty much ended exactly at the start of the second trimester.
The takeaway: Don't let morning sickness keep you from eating. Not eating is the opposite of helpful in that situation. I'm not sure if this goes for when you are also vomiting, but I'd imagine it does; just try to find something different than what might have caused you to vomit. Crackers are usually safe just to get your appetite back (but don't totally skip on protein!).
2. During the first trimester, I could only stomach like...two foods.
If you know me, then you know that I'll eat...ANYTHING! And A LOT of it! But the only things I could really handle were fruit and peanut butter with crackers (and peanut butter with fruit). Sometimes greek yogurt with a little honey. The worst part of that was that pretty much any source of protein besides peanut butter were the LAST things I wanted. Eggs, beans, milk, and meat were my worst enemies. And eating was such a chore. That really sucked because I love food so much.
The takeaway: Kind of the same as the last; don't stop eating! You're growing a person, after all! And sometimes if you hide your protein in enough rice and veggies and hot sauce, you can trick yourself into thinking it's not there. But you really need protein.
3. I was SOOOOO TIIIIIIRED during the first trimester!
I'm already a pretty easily tired person, but this was a whole other level. I was on a pretty strict workout regime before, and within like a week of finding out I was pregnant, that was TOTALLY out the window. And it wasn't that I had all that much keeping me busy. It was just as if getting up to go to the bathroom took the same amount of energy as it would take a normal person to jog around the block.
The takeaway: DO try to exercise a little. Something as simple as a walk or really simple yoga every day or so could do it. You may feel a little better and have a small boost of energy after, and you will thank yourself when you finally start to get your energy back in the second trimester and your muscles aren't all stiff. And it DOES come back (for most people)!
4. That need to pee (and drink water) all the time comes on REAL fast!
I always thought that this was due to the big baby pushing on your bladder like WAY down the timeline. But I was wrong. This also came on like a week after finding out (like 5 weeks along). Apparently this has more to do with hormones at this point. It does die down at first in the second trimester (or at least did for me) until the baby and uterus start to grow larger. Then, it really is because of pressure on your bladder. On top of that, I was SO THIRSTY all the time. I do drink a lot of water anyway, but I would go through at least three fill-ups of my 32 oz water bottle a day!
The takeaway: DON'T dehydrate yourself, no matter how annoying it is to have to pee every half hour or less. You could have some very scary dizzy spells if you do (which also goes for when you don't eat, too).
5. The bump comes a LOT slower than what they show on TV...at least for me.
Ok, REALLY!? This was the area I definitely felt the most cheated. Every TV show ever shows the person finding out in one episode and the very next, they have a HUGE belly! That is SO not the case! And I was even losing some weight at first, probably due to a lack of appetite and exercise. Here I was, going through all this crap and nothing to show for it! It even had me a little concerned that something might not be going right. Fortunately, as it turns out, that's one of those things that's just different for every pregnancy. It took me until about 14-15 weeks along to even begin to notice a difference in my belly. Even now, most of my clothes still fit just fine. That could be because I wear a lot of stretchy, over-sized, and billowy clothing already, but STILL!
The takeaway: Don't jump on the maternity clothes train too fast unless you're just so excited to go shopping and spend money on it. But guess what, you're gonna be spending a LOT of money once that little one comes out, so I would ease off and see what you can get away with first. Leggings have gone a LONG way for me! Plus, there are some cool tricks like this one for wearing your same jeans without destroying them for when you get bigger.
6. There's really not a lot for you to do about it. Just...wait.
You find out and then you just...do nothing. I mean, aside from scheduling and attending appointments like every four weeks, taking vitamins, and complaining that you can't have wine with dinner, there's not much for you to do. I mean, sure, there's a lot of other ways you could help yourself feel more involved in the process, but for the most part, that's for you. Your body is incredibly self sufficient in this area. It's so strange going to every appointment and either seeing the ultrasound or hearing the heartbeat and realising how much has been going on in there without much effort from you.
Even in cases where something went wrong, there was often times nothing the mother could have done differently. Some women do everything right and experience complications while some women had no idea they were pregnant for months (or at all), drank heavily, fell down the stairs and still ended up with a completely healthy baby. Not that you should throw all caution to the wind...but both amazingly and frustratingly, there's not a ton you can do to control this process. And more importantly, no reason to put more stress on yourself than your pregnancy already is.
The takeaway: If you enjoy learning all the ways you can help your baby grow (teas, vitamins, singing to your belly), and this helps you feel bonded to your baby, then let that be part of your process. But if the need to do something comes from a place of anxiety that something bad will happen to your baby as a result of something you did or failed to do, don't let that consume you. In some ways it is very frustrating that there really isn't a whole lot you can do, but it is also very cool to realise how incredible and mysterious it is what's going on in there.
7. I'm kind of unmotivated to do or think about anything else.
Yes, I just mentioned how there's not much you can do about growing your baby. But I feel like everything else going on in my life now seems so trivial. There are some pretty big things I'm working on right now, but, suddenly, it's like I could drop it all and not even blink. Don't get me wrong, I get VERY bored sometimes in my particular line of work living in this particular country. And I have been SO thrilled about this current project. I still am, but it does often feel like I just can't seem to think about anything else but this baby. I spent the last few days this week shopping for cloth diapering materials and watching video blogs about giving birth. And if I'm honest, I could do that all day every day until this kid comes, if it weren't for the screen causing my eyes to go fuzzy. There are a good list of things I could be getting done towards my project, but I just can't seem to get into that mindset (don't worry, Mom, I'll do them). But I think it's the anticipation, knowing that my life will change so much so fast, and as much as I want to accomplish big things for my career, I want be all there for this baby and I want to soak up as much of this time as I can.
The takeaway: ...I got nothin'
8. I don't think my mood has been particularly more swingy.
This could be because I am already a sensitive person. And I'm sure my mom would tell you that the frequency of my melt-downs has not changed. For one, being away from my family and my friends has been a very emotional thing for me anyway. In one sense, I feel like this pregnancy gives me a little more to occupy my thoughts and keeps me from spiraling too easily. But as far as randomly triggered emotions go...well, I've always been that way. I always get teary when someone proposes on a TV show or when I see a video of a baby being born or when I think about animals getting put to sleep because it's so sad to think about how they don't know what's going on and...uh oh, here it comes! Anyway...
I am also prone to snap when I feel out of control of a situation, and as mentioned above, I do feel particularly out of control of my current situation. But, again, I think that's how I've always been.
The takeaway: I say, unless it is completely debilitating, let yourself feel those emotions. Sure, maybe your hormones are taking you on a wild ride that you might not be used to. But take it from an emotional roller coaster junkie; embrace it. Let it show you what is going on inside you. Let it give you the courage to talk about your hopes and fears for the future! Try not to let your emotions control you and take you to dark places, but do try to use them for your benefit.
9. Every pregnancy really is totally different.
Granted, I have only been pregnant just this once so far. But comparing to other pregnancies I've witnessed, read about, or have been told about, it can go so many ways. And it can go totally differently the second and third and so on times. And in the same vein, birth can go so differently for every pregnancy. And when it comes to deciding how you want things to go for that glorious event, it seems to me that even women who have had babies all the ways couldn't tell you which one they would prefer other than they just want to be listened to throughout the process.
The takeaway: There's just no way of being totally prepared except to be completely open to surprises.
10. Ok so there's one thing that's different about being pregnant in Rwanda...
Everything I'm craving is US food! Ok, sure, I could try and fail miserably to make some of these things. But what I'm craving is very specific! I want Flying Saucer Fries! I want a Chick-Fil-A number four with Pepper Jack cheese! I want blackberry cobbler made from wild Arkansas blackberries made by one of my grandmothers! I want one of those giant salads from U.S. Pizza with all the toppings and their house ranch! I want Senor Tequila's chicken enchiladas, cheese dip and several rounds of chips and salsa! BUT YOU CAN'T GET THAT HERE! It's very sad...
The takeaway: There's nothing as upsetting as an unsatisfied pregnancy craving.
My automatic thought is..."uhhh I don't think it's any different than being pregnant anywhere else." Although I have no other frame of reference.
So this blog post might be a lot less exciting than you were expecting. BUT I have been watching so many video blogs and reading so many forums that, now, I feel like I want to write about what it has been like for me so far. Just to warn you...it's probably pretty boring stuff.
Numbered lists always make things more fun to read so I'll do it this way: My top 10 things funny things about being pregnant [in Rwanda] so far. And how about this? For each point I will give you a takeaway (which may be useful or may not be relevant to you at all).
1. Morning sickness was not what I expected...
I think that any woman who's ever wondered about pregnancy has figured out that no two women are the same in how they experience pregnancy and morning sickness is no exception. For me, it was not that intense at all, and I never vomited. And the weirdest thing was it only came on when I was hungry and occasionally when I ate too much. It was just essentially really intense, uncomfortable hunger pangs which, unfortunately, made me not want to eat ANYTHING. But I could only make it go away by eating. And this pretty much ended exactly at the start of the second trimester.
The takeaway: Don't let morning sickness keep you from eating. Not eating is the opposite of helpful in that situation. I'm not sure if this goes for when you are also vomiting, but I'd imagine it does; just try to find something different than what might have caused you to vomit. Crackers are usually safe just to get your appetite back (but don't totally skip on protein!).
2. During the first trimester, I could only stomach like...two foods.
If you know me, then you know that I'll eat...ANYTHING! And A LOT of it! But the only things I could really handle were fruit and peanut butter with crackers (and peanut butter with fruit). Sometimes greek yogurt with a little honey. The worst part of that was that pretty much any source of protein besides peanut butter were the LAST things I wanted. Eggs, beans, milk, and meat were my worst enemies. And eating was such a chore. That really sucked because I love food so much.
The takeaway: Kind of the same as the last; don't stop eating! You're growing a person, after all! And sometimes if you hide your protein in enough rice and veggies and hot sauce, you can trick yourself into thinking it's not there. But you really need protein.
3. I was SOOOOO TIIIIIIRED during the first trimester!
I'm already a pretty easily tired person, but this was a whole other level. I was on a pretty strict workout regime before, and within like a week of finding out I was pregnant, that was TOTALLY out the window. And it wasn't that I had all that much keeping me busy. It was just as if getting up to go to the bathroom took the same amount of energy as it would take a normal person to jog around the block.
The takeaway: DO try to exercise a little. Something as simple as a walk or really simple yoga every day or so could do it. You may feel a little better and have a small boost of energy after, and you will thank yourself when you finally start to get your energy back in the second trimester and your muscles aren't all stiff. And it DOES come back (for most people)!
4. That need to pee (and drink water) all the time comes on REAL fast!
I always thought that this was due to the big baby pushing on your bladder like WAY down the timeline. But I was wrong. This also came on like a week after finding out (like 5 weeks along). Apparently this has more to do with hormones at this point. It does die down at first in the second trimester (or at least did for me) until the baby and uterus start to grow larger. Then, it really is because of pressure on your bladder. On top of that, I was SO THIRSTY all the time. I do drink a lot of water anyway, but I would go through at least three fill-ups of my 32 oz water bottle a day!
The takeaway: DON'T dehydrate yourself, no matter how annoying it is to have to pee every half hour or less. You could have some very scary dizzy spells if you do (which also goes for when you don't eat, too).
5. The bump comes a LOT slower than what they show on TV...at least for me.
Ok, REALLY!? This was the area I definitely felt the most cheated. Every TV show ever shows the person finding out in one episode and the very next, they have a HUGE belly! That is SO not the case! And I was even losing some weight at first, probably due to a lack of appetite and exercise. Here I was, going through all this crap and nothing to show for it! It even had me a little concerned that something might not be going right. Fortunately, as it turns out, that's one of those things that's just different for every pregnancy. It took me until about 14-15 weeks along to even begin to notice a difference in my belly. Even now, most of my clothes still fit just fine. That could be because I wear a lot of stretchy, over-sized, and billowy clothing already, but STILL!
The takeaway: Don't jump on the maternity clothes train too fast unless you're just so excited to go shopping and spend money on it. But guess what, you're gonna be spending a LOT of money once that little one comes out, so I would ease off and see what you can get away with first. Leggings have gone a LONG way for me! Plus, there are some cool tricks like this one for wearing your same jeans without destroying them for when you get bigger.
6. There's really not a lot for you to do about it. Just...wait.
You find out and then you just...do nothing. I mean, aside from scheduling and attending appointments like every four weeks, taking vitamins, and complaining that you can't have wine with dinner, there's not much for you to do. I mean, sure, there's a lot of other ways you could help yourself feel more involved in the process, but for the most part, that's for you. Your body is incredibly self sufficient in this area. It's so strange going to every appointment and either seeing the ultrasound or hearing the heartbeat and realising how much has been going on in there without much effort from you.
Even in cases where something went wrong, there was often times nothing the mother could have done differently. Some women do everything right and experience complications while some women had no idea they were pregnant for months (or at all), drank heavily, fell down the stairs and still ended up with a completely healthy baby. Not that you should throw all caution to the wind...but both amazingly and frustratingly, there's not a ton you can do to control this process. And more importantly, no reason to put more stress on yourself than your pregnancy already is.
The takeaway: If you enjoy learning all the ways you can help your baby grow (teas, vitamins, singing to your belly), and this helps you feel bonded to your baby, then let that be part of your process. But if the need to do something comes from a place of anxiety that something bad will happen to your baby as a result of something you did or failed to do, don't let that consume you. In some ways it is very frustrating that there really isn't a whole lot you can do, but it is also very cool to realise how incredible and mysterious it is what's going on in there.
7. I'm kind of unmotivated to do or think about anything else.
Yes, I just mentioned how there's not much you can do about growing your baby. But I feel like everything else going on in my life now seems so trivial. There are some pretty big things I'm working on right now, but, suddenly, it's like I could drop it all and not even blink. Don't get me wrong, I get VERY bored sometimes in my particular line of work living in this particular country. And I have been SO thrilled about this current project. I still am, but it does often feel like I just can't seem to think about anything else but this baby. I spent the last few days this week shopping for cloth diapering materials and watching video blogs about giving birth. And if I'm honest, I could do that all day every day until this kid comes, if it weren't for the screen causing my eyes to go fuzzy. There are a good list of things I could be getting done towards my project, but I just can't seem to get into that mindset (don't worry, Mom, I'll do them). But I think it's the anticipation, knowing that my life will change so much so fast, and as much as I want to accomplish big things for my career, I want be all there for this baby and I want to soak up as much of this time as I can.
The takeaway: ...I got nothin'
8. I don't think my mood has been particularly more swingy.
This could be because I am already a sensitive person. And I'm sure my mom would tell you that the frequency of my melt-downs has not changed. For one, being away from my family and my friends has been a very emotional thing for me anyway. In one sense, I feel like this pregnancy gives me a little more to occupy my thoughts and keeps me from spiraling too easily. But as far as randomly triggered emotions go...well, I've always been that way. I always get teary when someone proposes on a TV show or when I see a video of a baby being born or when I think about animals getting put to sleep because it's so sad to think about how they don't know what's going on and...uh oh, here it comes! Anyway...
I am also prone to snap when I feel out of control of a situation, and as mentioned above, I do feel particularly out of control of my current situation. But, again, I think that's how I've always been.
The takeaway: I say, unless it is completely debilitating, let yourself feel those emotions. Sure, maybe your hormones are taking you on a wild ride that you might not be used to. But take it from an emotional roller coaster junkie; embrace it. Let it show you what is going on inside you. Let it give you the courage to talk about your hopes and fears for the future! Try not to let your emotions control you and take you to dark places, but do try to use them for your benefit.
9. Every pregnancy really is totally different.
Granted, I have only been pregnant just this once so far. But comparing to other pregnancies I've witnessed, read about, or have been told about, it can go so many ways. And it can go totally differently the second and third and so on times. And in the same vein, birth can go so differently for every pregnancy. And when it comes to deciding how you want things to go for that glorious event, it seems to me that even women who have had babies all the ways couldn't tell you which one they would prefer other than they just want to be listened to throughout the process.
The takeaway: There's just no way of being totally prepared except to be completely open to surprises.
10. Ok so there's one thing that's different about being pregnant in Rwanda...
Everything I'm craving is US food! Ok, sure, I could try and fail miserably to make some of these things. But what I'm craving is very specific! I want Flying Saucer Fries! I want a Chick-Fil-A number four with Pepper Jack cheese! I want blackberry cobbler made from wild Arkansas blackberries made by one of my grandmothers! I want one of those giant salads from U.S. Pizza with all the toppings and their house ranch! I want Senor Tequila's chicken enchiladas, cheese dip and several rounds of chips and salsa! BUT YOU CAN'T GET THAT HERE! It's very sad...
The takeaway: There's nothing as upsetting as an unsatisfied pregnancy craving.
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